Like it or not we always have moments of self doubt.
Imposter syndrome, paranoia, self talk - however it manifests for you most of us have a wobble here and there where we let all rhyme and reason leave through the nearest window and we pop ourselves in a vulnerable little box and expect people to poke us.
Oh, just me!?! ;)
I have a number of ways of dealing with this and no, they aren't all useful all of the time but I thought I would share one which I do find really useful.
A – Actualising Event (Client seemed uninterested in my work).
B – Belief (My work is bad and they don’t like me).
C – Consequence of belief (I will lose client, panic mode, I feel rubbish about myself and my work).
D - Disruptive evidence (What evidence is there in the situation or in our relationship that supports this belief or disproves it. They have loved everything I have done for them before – so maybe they are busy right now, maybe they need time to digest. Maybe they just don’t have the attention for me).
E – Energising new belief (Our relationship is good and there is trust, so I should ask if they like the work or if they need my support in a different way right now).
Let's try a non work version...
A – Actualising Event (He/she didn't laugh at my joke).
B – Belief (They don't like me anymore).
C – Consequence of belief (They are going to stop being my friend).
D - Disruptive evidence (They greeted me normally when they arrived, we have chatted, they mentioned they were having a bad day - my joke wasn't that funny).
E – Energising new belief (its probably not about me at all - I wont make it about me).
This one is so useful to me that I rarely have to take myself through the whole thing anymore. I recognise anxiety, worry or self doubt in myself and I go straight to D and say to myself "what evidence is there to support this belief and what evidence is there to counter it."
I hope this helps someone as it does me.
A little something extra - I have included a picture of me smiling and feeling confident as sometimes I think its really useful to notice how you are physically when you feel good and confident and then create that when you don't. My shoulders are back, I am usually stood up, my face is open, my hands are open, and I am often bouncing a little.